July 26 2007 

This morning I woke up and headed down to the beach. It is breath-takingly beautiful. The sand is pristine white, soft to the touch, and fun to squish between your toes. The water is mild, not cold, but not disturbingly warm either (whenever I am in open bodies of water that are too warm, I can’t help but be increasingly suspicious of the people around me).

I spend the morning swimming, sunbathing, and reading on the beach. It was wonderful, except the beach is full of these “beach boys” (no, not like the band). They try to talk to you and sell you things, etc. I never actually found out what they wanted because I made a point to shut them down before they could even begin. After a while they just stopped bothering me all together.

It rained a little bit in the afternoon (this is an equator winter), so I came back, read a little bit, and took a nap. I’ve been eating bread and bananas all day today, but there was a fruit vendor so I had a mango with lunch. There is a communal stove and pots and stuff but I’m too lazy to figure out how or what to cook. There is a restaurant down the street though so I’ll splurge and break up the monotony.

Traveling by myself has been a catch 22. It is good and I’ve really appreciated being able to live by my own rules and make my own decisions even for only a couple days. It has been really wearing down on me to be constantly in guest mode, to be on my best behavior and not be able to do what I want when I want. It really isn’t that bad, but after a month of it I really needed a break. But as much as I like to be able to do whatever I want, traveling alone is really lonely. It is so different to enjoy something and not have someone to enjoy it with. Snorkeling and sunbathing are one person activities, but having someone else to share it with makes a world of difference. I am in a paradox, I am enjoying my solitude, but I want someone to share it with.

I am just so spent and done. I feel I’ve done my time and now I am ready to go home, even though I have a month more to go. I have been trying to rally myself and get excited for my last month, but it is harder than it sounds.  Hopefully when I get back it will go by quick. I know when it comes time to leave I’ll be sad to go, but right now I’m just homesick.

I called the train station and I am leaving at 5:30 here to catch a bus that leaves at 9 am. It is going to be a 30 hour bus ride. I’m not too excited about it. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.