July 5, 2007 Some church, in some village, somewhere in Uganda

I am so exhausted. I was exhausted after our first round of testing. Now we have moved to a second village for more testing and counseling and I can barely move. It is mostly emotional exhaustion, but it has taken its toll all over.

This morning we headed out to a village called Kubanga. We arrived about 10 in the morning, it took about an hour to drive. We took the hospitals “ambulance” (which is really just a 2-door truck with “ambulance” written on the side). So we got to Kubanga and instantly the truck is swarmed by at least 20 kids all waving frantically as if the sheer number of them was not noticeable enough. While they were setting up the “testing and counseling center” (which was chairs and benches strategically placed in clusters in front of and around someone’s house), we were left to entertain the mass of kids. One of the kids had a baby with him (it is not uncommon to put young kids in charge of really really young kids). The baby was really cute and the kid just gave it to me to hold. So I was holding the baby, speaking the 3 phrases I know in Luganda, dancing, and just playing with the kids when I felt wet. Lots of wet. The important factor that everyone had failed to mention to me was that Ugandan babies don’t wear diapers. So I quickly gave the baby (as cute as it was) back to the brother for him to deal with. But I still had to spend the rest of the day with a stain on my shirt and smelling like baby pee.

As soon as everything was organized and people were gathered, we did a short HIV education presentation for the villagers (the difference between HIV and AIDS, myths about HIV, how you can and can’t get it, and how you can prevent getting it).

Then we started taking down people’s information before they got tested which was my first job. And then they would get in line, have their finger pricked, and then wait for a “counselor” to give them results (I use quotes because counselor somehow implies that one must be trained for the position, but I started counseling after watching Erin do it once and then did it for the rest of the day, but I am getting ahead of myself).

So after getting everyone’s forms filled out (where they live, name, sex, age, marital status, etc.) I started playing with the kids (they had been watching me the whole time and every once and a while one would come up and poke me then run away). They were kind of getting in the way, so I took them aside to distract them. We danced, I made funny faces and noises, I twirled them around and picked them up until I couldn’t anymore (maybe that’s why I’m so tired J ).

After that, Erin said that I needed to start “handing out results” (which is a lot more complicated, you can’t just give results out for either negative or positive people, you have to counsel both by asking them a lot of questions about their lifestyle, and what they’d be willing to change about their behavior to make them less at risk or to prevent from spreading it). So I watched Erin do it (all from memory) and I took notes on what to ask, and then I was given a stack of names and a translator, and then sent to work. The first one was intimidating, but I did alright (it was a negative result). But my second one was a positive, and it was really hard because it was this guy named Wilson, who had 8 kids and a wife. He wasn’t really upset (I think I actually took it harder than he did). After that it was a blur of faces and questions, one right after the other, some positive (although mostly negative), but it was all very emotionally draining and exhausting. 3:30 rolled around and we finished the last person. We ate lunch and then headed to the next village (although I was fully prepared to go home after eating).

We got to the next village, and our next testing area which was in a church, which was nice because at the other village it was outside and it was pouring down rain most of the time so we had to give results while trying to stay underneath the lip of the roof. We used the sanctuary for a waiting area where there was an education presentation, and we took their information, then they got tested in the back room area, and then they gave results outside. It was very efficient and would have worked out really well, except we ran out of both of our forms (we have a pre-test information form, and a post-test referral form). So instead of counseling, I spent the whole time handwriting makeshift forms. I got pretty good at it, to where I memorized both forms so I could just write it without having to look at anything.

We ended up having to turn people away because we ran out of all our supplies which is really sad because we tested a high rate of positive people in that village (20-25%).

At some point throughout the day we came across this old woman who had a 4 year old granddaughter who she looked after because both her parents died of AIDS. The little girl was also HIV+ and she had been on medication, but they ran out and couldn’t afford the transport to the hospital to get more (the actual medication for kids and widows here is free). The little girl was so cute, but she was really weak and sick because she hadn’t had her medication for several weeks. I asked Lydia how much transport to the hospital would be and she said around 8,000shs. So I gave the grandma 10,000shs and they got a boda into town. I know I can’t help everyone, but there was an immediate need, and I could do something, so I did.

Tomorrow we are going out again to another village to do it all over again. I know it is a good thing we’re doing, but I don’t know if my heart can take it.